And so it begins after months of sitting in toronto unable to travel due to my fuck ups with my travel documents -- we are finally back in business and with a vengeance!!!!!

Thursday morning was like Christmas - tossing and turning waiting to find out if the cookies you left out for that fat white guy were eaten and if you got that pony you've always wanted even though you are clearly way to old for one now. Finally 8 am comes around and its time to start packing and getting shit together - 40 dollars and a cab later me and Grahm arrive at the airport, now you need to really understand the magnitude of this tour- we havnt been able to travel outside of the country for about 4 months, which means ive cost the band a shit load of money -- so seeing the smile on grahms face that morning really was priceless.. he was like a happy 5 year old with his first bike...lol

Equipped with a great travel playlist - the plane takes off and im just floating in the clouds..

We finally land in San Fran, 5 hours later --- a quick side note , why is it when you sit in the middle of any flight there is always an exceptionally large person either right next to you or directly infront of you... and as large as they are they still feel the need to take up more of my god dam space... this lady sitting in front of me managed to push her seat farther back than i think ive ever seen it go-- which really fucked with me while i was trying to watch "the golden compass".. which i though was a delightful film...ha

anyway--

San fran show was amazing.. i think 1500-1800 people RSVP'd for this event ...and unlike our previous shows and tours i decided to not get completely fucked before the show... which ive learned form our Lees Palace show is just a better idea. I think the fact that we've been off the road against our will for so long has really given me time to fall back in love with the whole live show part of the job. You may not be able to believe it but after a while it becomes just another stage , just another city , just another everything--

During the end of our set Grahm master flex drops Jerk it and i scream out " who wants to be on stage... come on anybody - fuck it everybody" yea ... sounded like a good idea at the time, till we had over 50 people on a small ass stage and the security guard was mean mugging grahm-- we do the full song and i have to fight off ass grabs from ladies and men, all while trying to remember the words and not fall off the stage-- someone get me a fucking gold sticker

IMMEDIATELY--- its harder than i make it look...lol

After our set ... Grahm and i decide to throw away all our inhibitions and get cold ass ill and straight retarded with our local friends in our dressing room... ok.. now i  need to really emphasize the level of retardation -- at a certain point after i was already half way mangled and slurring -- grahm decides its a great idea to trash the place -- YEA GRAHM THOUGHT OF IT-- TWIIIILLIIGGHHHTTT ZZZOOONNNEEEE!!!!  he starts throwing random pieces of furniture at me.. im swinging from bars ... we're wrestling... randoms are making it back stage.. chicks are looking theres shoes and their minds...the bathroom is a revolving door...afterparties are being planned....

we're all singing off key like "I WISH I NEVER MET HEERRRR ATTT ALLLLLLL!!!   Now it gets better order another round... out comes the tequila shots -- mixed with colt 45's --- and its just up hill from there... or was it down the stairs i fell.. id dont remember... something about being that out of control--- it really is like in the movies when they speed up everything in the background and just focus on the person --its all a blurr... i walked around the room said hi to hundreds of people.. watched a guy hold a cigarette in his pants zipper- trying to see if he could puff on it with his penis. Was hit on by several ladies and gents---and a really weird guy with gold frunts - who reminded me of bettle juice jones (the deformed black guy-google it) , he kept saying he was a rapper - thank god my girl grabbed me and saved me from being eaten by the gold tooth 1 eyed mutated wanna be rapper man...like really he was scary and shouldnt have been allowed in the building and i plan to write a formal letter to the venue.....lol



All this was going on backstage... so imagine what would have happened at the afterparties... but with my new found love for what it is i do.. i opted to not afterparty this round.. which was a great idea because hell theres 5 more shows after this one...and if this is any indication to what will go down.. i need to keep my liver from shutting down atleast till New York... cus when we hit NY and Philly these are like our hometowns from another mother... its going to be dangerously good.....

Back stage will be a combination of girls gone wild, and a motley crew home video...lol  sex, drugs and rock & rolll

its soo good to be back .... ohh yeaaa!!!


looking forward to seeing you all.. please start getting your livers ready now -- LA you have till Monday to get your act together --

good luck!

POSTED BY ISIS on 2008-05-03